How to Start Praying with Your Spouse

great tips to use if you want to start praying WITH your husband
Praying for your spouse is an incredibly important investment you can make in your marriage, and it is one that many of you committed to this past month.

Coming off the heels of Valentine’s Day, I want to challenge us to go one step further. Instead of just praying for our spouse, this month, let’s purpose to begin praying with our spouse.

We all have reasons not to begin — busy schedules, insecurity, miscommunication, different interest levels, and constant interruptions are just a few of the obstacles we have to overcome when making the effort to pray together. On top of that, praying together sometimes just feels awkward!

But even though praying together might feel uncomfortable at first, God uses that time of prayer to knit our hearts together. The power of praying together is unmeasured, but pivotal in our marriages!

If you’re struggling to start praying together as a couple, I’m sharing 8 tips over at For the Family to help you get started.

8 Quick Tips to Start Praying with your Spouse

Guess what?!

My book, Pray Truth: Praying God’s Word for My Husband’s Heart is only $.99!! Get it here and please spread the word! 



The Lessons Impatience Teaches our Children

Today’s post is a guest post by my friend Melinda Means. She and Kathy Helgemo just recently released their new book Mothering from Scratch: Finding the Best Parenting Style for You and Your Family. Read more about Melinda and her book below.

The Lessons Impatience Teaches Kids

Do you long for instant gratification as much as I do?

For example, I work out for two weeks and expect miracles. I get discouraged when I can’t suddenly slip toned thighs into my “skinny jeans” or show off my “guns” in a cute, sleeveless shirt.

This lack of immediate results is precisely why my “working out regularly” routine often ends at … two weeks.

The biblical concept of patience or “endurance” is a tough one for me to swallow. Quick results are more to my liking. But I can’t recall the apostle Paul ever writing about that.

When I became a mom, it didn’t take me long to realize that patience is a virtue that might come in handy. My children don’t often respond or develop on my timetable. Can you relate?

Unfortunately, for my children, my capacity for patience didn’t develop overnight. It took me much longer to ask God to change my heart instead of expecting my children to change the way God designed them.

Over the years, I’ve conveyed impatience and anger (the two seem to go hand-in-hand) to my children more times than I’d care to admit. I’ve had to ask their forgiveness over and over again as God slowly and mercifully used hardships and difficulties to grow my capacity to love and wait and endure.

Looking back, it’s painful for me to recognize how my impatience was teaching my kids lessons that I never intended.

The WRONG lessons impatience taught my kids:

Lesson #1: You aren’t good enough. When I’m frequently annoyed, irritated or frustrated with my children, it chips away at their confidence. What is the incentive for a child to keep trying when it becomes apparent that his or her method or pace of doing things is never fast or efficient enough for our liking?

Lesson #2: Hurrying is a way of life. No child should have to always feel continually rushed. It’s a very unsettling feeling for adults, let alone little people who have no concept of time or our very busy, important “to-do” lists. Ahem. I remember when my son Micah was about three, I was continually hurrying him out the door with these words: “Come on, come on, Micah. We have to go!” One day, he looked at me in frustration and said, “I’m come on-ing!” “Come on-ing” shouldn’t be a way of life. Especially when you’re three.

Lesson #3: God is impatient. God intended for parents to reflect His love for our children. We’re His earthly representations to our children. If we’re impatient, we unconsciously send the message that their Heavenly Father is, too.

Lesson #4: It’s okay to be impatient. I can talk all day long about being patient and loving, but if my actions betray my words, I lose all credibility. And I’ve learned the hard way that it’s not easy to rebuild.

How do we become more patient with our children?

It requires a heart change that starts with one single act of obedience:

  • I’m going to choose to stop myself mid-sentence when I start to hurry my child.
  • I’m going to choose to take a deep breath when I have to explain the same instruction for the 10th time to my child because he/she can’t grasp the concept.
  • I’m going to choose to focus on my child’s need for grace in a situation rather than my need for efficiency.

With the Holy Spirit’s power, we can start with one choice and build from there.

Instead of asking ourselves, “Why are they so slow?” or “Why does everything take so long?, maybe a better question to ask is, “What is God trying to teach me through these precious, but at times challenging, children and times of waiting?”

When we begin to sincerely seek the answer to that question, we have this assurance: “Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer.” Daniel 10:12 (NLT)

The lessons He teaches will always produce results.




melindameanscloseupMelinda is mother to a strapping teenage son and a beautiful and entertaining teenage daughter. She has written for Focus on the Family,, In Touch and Lifeway’s Journey.

Melinda and her blogging partner Kathy Helgemo are co-authors of the new book Mothering From Scratch: Finding the Best Parenting Style for You and Your Family (Bethany House, 2015), available on Amazon, and, as well as bookstores nationwide. They blog together over at Mothering from Scratch.




 such a great resource for families to use this Easter!

Holy Week is only 5 weeks away! Have you picked up your copy of Clean on the Inside: A Family Devotional for Holy Week? I’m excited to join together again as we lead our families to Jesus this Easter!


Other Posts You May Enjoy

How to Really Change Our Kids’ Hearts

Praying for Our Kids: 5 Verses to Pray

More: Pursuing my Daughter’s Heart

How Do You Parent?


A Warning When Praying for Your Spouse

Richard Foster quote on Prayer

quote by Richard J. Foster


Prayer can be perplexing at times, can’t it? We know we should pray. We often say we will be praying. We believe prayer “works.” We ask others to pray for us. But how often do we actually pray? 

We jump into it but also neglect it; we yearn for a powerful prayer life, but also fear we won’t get it right.

Instead of actually praying, we read about prayer or look on pinterest for great prayer ideas. We write our prayer lists, make prayer cards, and share quotes about prayer, but somehow we neglect to pray!

Praying for our spouse is no different.

We know we should pray for our spouse and for our marriage. We know that God can work in our relationships in ways we never could, but yet something keeps us from praying.

Whatever the reason – and I’m sure they are many and varied – did you know that prayer is a way of loving your spouse? Richard J. Foster reminds us in his book on prayer:

“If we truly love people, we will desire for them far more than it is within our power to give them, and this will lead us to prayer. Intercession is a way of loving others.”


Over on Instagram and Facebook, we’re in the middle of a challenge, based on my book, to pray daily for our husbands. If you haven’t yet joined us, I sure hope you will. I have received so many private notes from you sharing how this book and this prayer challenge is impacting your lives and your marriages, and to that, I give all glory to God and ask that He continue to work in powerful ways!

But there is a tricky part to praying for your spouse, too. I’m writing about that over on the For the Family blog today. It’s a warning of sorts, something we need to watch out for as we begin praying for our husbands. To read it, click this link:

The Tricky thing about Praying for Your Spouse




Pray Truth: Praying God's Word for my Husband's Heart -- now available for pre-order!!!  //  A MUST-HAVE book!!

Click here to purchase your copy of Pray Truth: Praying God’s Word for My Husband’s Heart.



How the 5s Can Change Your Marriage

Today is January 5.

New week. New month. New year.

With all this newness, I’m issuing a new challenge: “Spend 5 Prayer Challenge”

Spend 5 minutes a day for the next 5 weeks praying for your husband. {And right now, my book, Pray Truth: Praying God’s Word for my Husband’s Heart is only $5!! I think this pre-release price will only last today, so order it quickly! I’m not sure when Amazon will raise the price.}


Definitely doing this challenge!! Who wants to do it with me?

Simple = Doable

Of course you can spend more than five minutes or pray longer than 5 weeks. You can even spend more than 5 dollars on some of my other favorite prayer books, but most of us need a simple, doable place to start. That’s where the 5s come in.

I truly believe that as we begin to develop the daily habit of prayer — as we yield our hearts to God and pray consistently for the hearts of our husbands — God will change us and change him. Consequently our marriages and lives and families will begin to change too! 

What do you think? Are you up for the challenge?


How to Participate in the Challenge

  • Order your book today and spend some time this week reading through the pages preceding the 31 days of prayer. We will begin praying together next Monday, January 12.
  • Like my Facebook page and/or follow me on Instagram or twitterI will be posting daily prayer encouragement there {not here on the blog}.
  • Invite a friend or two to join us! Call her on the phone, share this post, or tag a few friends on Facebook!
  • Start praying with us next Monday!


The challenge will run from January 12 – February 11, ending just before Valentine’s Day. An added bonus is that our focused time of prayer will also be softening our hearts and preparing us to kick off a unique marriage challenge that same week! Hurrah!


Question for You:

Is this a challenge you need? What could keep you from committing to this challenge?


,center>We need to stop fighting WITH our husbands, and start fighting FOR them!


The Word of God not only shapes our lives, it shapes our prayers